Not So Famous Quotes

[muggsy]

A man never knows what he's capable of doing until he does it and even then sometimes he's not too sure. (unknown)

[Tinman507]

There is no limit to the good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit. General George C. Marshall

[Thunder71]

If the right of passage takes you through cow manure, you'll recall the effort long after your successes and others will recognize your deed without having to say a word.

[Dirt doc]

In my younger days I served on a destroyer in the Tonkin Gulf. We hit 2 mines one day that really shook things up. After we secured from GQ I met a buddy in a passageway and he let loose with my favorite not so famous quote: "War may be hell but this actual combat is a #@(:236_9'23."

[Thunder71]

What the f*** was that? -Mayor of Hiroshima
Scattered showers my ass! -Noah

[Tinman507]

Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?
Lili Von Schtupp - Blazing Saddles

[getsome]

Every time I get the urge to excercise I always lay down and take a nap until it passes....Mark Twain

I love the smell of napalm in the morning, smells like victory....Colonel Walter E. Kurtz

Roses on your piano very nice but tulips on your organ much better....Confucius

Sir you are drunk...Madam you are ugly...In the morning I shall be sober...
Winston Churchill...

Sir if you were my husband I would give you poison...Madam if I were your husband I would gladly take it....
Winston Churchill

I never drink water, Fish fu@k in it...W.C. Fields

A women drove me to drink and I'm sorry to say I never got around to thanking her....W.C. Fields

I haven't spoken to my wife in years, I didn't want to interrupt her...Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for 25 years, then we met...Rodney Dangerfield

[Don K.]

We were so poor when I was growning up...Good thing I was born a boy or I wouldn"t have had anything to play with. (rimshot) I think Rodney Dangerfield said that....

also..man to wife (she thinks he's fooling around with another gal) Honey, why should I go out looking for milk when I've got a cow at home...Al Bundy gets credit here

[getsome]

A couple other good ones from Rodney, may he RIP...

I know my father hated me, I asked him how to get my kite off the ground and he said to run off a cliff...

I know my parents hated me, My only bath toy was a toaster...

[Ubaldo99]

"I dont want to belong to any club that would have me as a member!" (Groucho Marx) NRA members take note.

[CharlieW]

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend; inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.

Also Groucho

[muggsy]

The two best times to go fishing is when it's raining and when it's not.

[Tinman507]

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

[les strat]

"We've got armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening." - Nigel Tufnel

[Longitude Zero]

OKC is the only place in the USA I can fall down into a river, pick myslef up, and dust myself off...Bob Hope