October’s Omnibus Organization of Outstanding Out of the Ordinary Opinions

[Tinman507]

Stop me before I alliterate again. It's a sickness

[getsome]

You too?....I have to get up 4 or 5 times every night to go alliterate and when I get to the bathroom nothing happens...Sucks gettin old..

[muggsy]

Jocko's so old he doesn't bother to get out of bed sometimes when he alliterates at night. When I asked him how he he manages that he said, "Depends."

[mr surveyor]

October’s Omnibus Organization of Outstanding Out of the Ordinary Opinions ....of obama

[jocko]

actually I don't ge tup at ight. I am very close to the bathroom, so I just let it hang out over the stool all nite.

[jocko]

actually I don't get up at night. I am very close to the bathroom, so I just let it hang out over the stool all nite.

[Sage]

Say again.

[ltxi]

Over...

[Alfonse]

I heard three old guys talking about just that kind of problem. One getting up all night, nothing happening. The other, similar but more digestive issues. The third old guy looked at his friends and said "About seven every morning, I pee like a stallion. Soon after, maybe 7:15, I have an earth moving movement every morning. The only problem is I don't wake up until eight."

[CJB]

Man..... I wish Dietrich was still with us... he'd be able to help.

Got a problem with my toenail fungus. Its getting moldy.

Any clues for what to do?

[muggsy]

While some feel that it's a bit extreme, amputation is a sure cure for toe nail fungus.

[RevRay]

Jocko's so old he doesn't bother to get out of bed sometimes when he alliterates at night. When I asked him how he he manages that he said, "Depends."

Yea, but all of his alliterations are typos.

[CJB]

no no... my toenail fungus isn't on my toenail(s), I keep it in a jar on the coffee table in my family room. It gets fed regularly (toejam), but... I dunno, it was thriving, took over the entire bottom of the jar, but now... it seems to be sprouting some greyish/purple fuzz, gotta be moldy sorta stuff.

Sad in a way. I've had this fungus since it was just a little spore. Now its a humungous fungus.... part of the family, like the crippled squid my neighbor had for the longest time.

[ltxi]

My youngest dog has a pet like that. She sits there watching and guarding it for hours. At least she lets us keep a lid on the jar at night.

[Bawanna]

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues.

'Johnny!' Mom screams. 'Knock it off.' You're going to break something.’
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping centre.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge, A diarrhoea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

'Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?' she asks.

He says, 'I've been a doctor for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !'


You're laughing aren't you...I know you are!!!