Mays Mayhem and Malarkey

[Bawanna]

I durn near forgot this one. I told ya you should remind me.

One simple rule here.

BE NICE!

[wyntrout]

Be nice and make us laugh... or least make us laugh.

Wynn

[berettabone]

So, I get up yesterday morning, and my wife informs me.............that we are now the proud owners(renters) of a 20 ft. by 20 ft. garden plot, in a city park. Part of a college extension. I take a drive over to look at the place and I see..............nothing. No fence, no water, no rototilled soil, nothing. They said that it was a fenced area, with water, and there were aprox. 16 plots of this size, and some smaller ones. Now, I'm not as old as some gentlemen and ladies( I use the term loosely) on this forum, but I am pushing 60. I told the wife......................"Do you realize how much work this will be, if no one rototills this soil?" A friend of mine, who has had huge gardens for 40 years, already has early things planted, and coming up already, like lettuce and garlic. Now, I realize that here, it can snow at any time throughout the year, but I told the wife, they've got to get going on this, or we'll be picking frozen vegetables in November. I also informed her that 20 ft by 20 ft is a large area to turn over by hand...............so unless she has been associating with a 25 yr. old weightlifter, it's a whole lot of work, and I don't see anyone volunteering. We shall see what happens. Fresh veggies would be nice. During the growing season, we hit the farmers market a couple times a week. Love fresh tomatoes, cauliflower, beans, carrots, peppers, brussel sprouts, etc. Oh those sprouts...if NASA could stop by about 2 hrs. after sprouts, I could fuel the next shuttle to the moon. Hoping someone else tills soon.

[muggsy]

Yer fightin a losing battle here, berettabone. Might as well rent a rototiller if your wife wants to exercise her green thumb. Hauling water will seem much easier than wrestling with that evil machine. I'm referring to the rototiller not the Mrs.

[berettabone]

I would prefer to wrestle with both evil machines, instead of trying to turn the soil over by hand. There is a building that's about 30 yds. away, and I did see a capped water pipe on the side. I am hoping, along with the tilling, that there will be an easier way to get water. I can always fill a bucket, and eat some sprouts, and fly the water over

[ltxi]

Ahhh.....400 sq ft really ain't all that big but I wouldn't want to turn it by hand anymore, either. Not even soft ground. 'Course I've never much wanted to have anything to do with veggie gardens at all. Done a share but only under duress.

Go rent a rototiller, give it to wife and tell her to have at it. Then install a water tank with a pump cross bed in your pick-up for the season, give it to wife and tell her to have at that, too.

[deadeye]

You didn't say what kind of soil it is or if you have broken ground before. If it is hard packed or sod I sure would like to come and watch you roto-till it without turning it first!

[Bawanna]

Maybe he could make a video, I think there's a place for it on Utube or You Tube or wherever you find video's and such in cyber space.

[DeaconKC]

A recent study found that 9 out of 10 married men agreed their wives were always right.
The tenth man hasn't been heard from since the survey was conducted.

[GROTMAN]

Just a few tips on how to better understand women..

9 Deadly Words Used By A Woman….
1) Fine.
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) Five Minutes.
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3) Nothing.
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.
4) Go Ahead.
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!
5) Loud Sigh.
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing)
6) Okay (OK).
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.
Okay (OK) means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7) Thanks.
A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say You're Welcome.
(I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all).
DO NOT say "You're Welcome". That will bring on a "Whatever".
8) Whatever.
Is a woman's way of saying F- You.
9) Don't Worry About It, I've Got It.
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.
This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response, refer to #3.

[downtownv]

Anybody have a take on this?
Looks to me; it's a complete contradiction!
Oxymoronic

[smo79]

Just a few tips on how to better understand women..

9 Deadly Words Used By A Woman….
1) Fine.
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) Five Minutes.
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3) Nothing.
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.
4) Go Ahead.
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!
5) Loud Sigh.
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing)
6) Okay (OK).
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.
Okay (OK) means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7) Thanks.
A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say You're Welcome.
(I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all).
DO NOT say "You're Welcome". That will bring on a "Whatever".
8) Whatever.
Is a woman's way of saying F- You.
9) Don't Worry About It, I've Got It.
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.
This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response, refer to #3.

Goodness it sounds exactly like the last few says I have had with my wife. Even better when your married to a redhead who is feisty to begin with.

[CharlieW]

Green-eyed redheads are the most dangerous creatures known to man...

[olympicmotorcars]

Green-eyed redheads are the most dangerous creatures known to man...

There are only 2 thing in this world I am scared of, lawyers and a particular 5'2" red headed woman. ( not in that order ).

[berettabone]

You didn't say what kind of soil it is or if you have broken ground before. If it is hard packed or sod I sure would like to come and watch you roto-till it without turning it first!

You can tell that something was there a long time ago, but right now, it's mainly sod. There is no way in hell that I am going to turn it over by hand. I did a bit of checking, because they have other garden sites like these in my town, and nearby towns. They usually till it up for the people, at least the first year. It's what I'm hoping. Lord I'm hoping. I'm too young to croak yet. I would hate to have the wife choose between me or a cucumber