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Our ever popular mystery shopper, Joe Shlabotnick has himself a new pistol. He went to a gun store, and selected it from the many on display....or....maybe he got the feel of them at the counter, and weaseled online to get one shipped in from an online discount dealer. Either way, he has accepted the pistol, signed the papers, forked over his cash and is a proud so-and-so. For the time being.
During the trip home, from the FFL/gunshop, invariably the firearms demons go to work. Joe S. gets home, opens his new pride and joy and is taken back in a deep blue funk.
*** choosing one, several, or all, to immediately disqualify his pistol as new ***
1. Its dirty
2. The pistol didn't come in a bag
3. The instruction manual didn't come in a bag
4. There's no fired casing
5. The case is not the newest style he heard of online
6. There's a wear mark on the barrel hood
7. There's a wear mark on the barrel at the bushing area
8. There's a flake of polymer in the bag
9. There's a flake of polymer hanging from the frame
10. Evidence of hand fitting someplace, maybe somebody screwed with it.
11. The slide won't close with the empty magazine in place
12. There's a notch in the frame rail
13. What he thought were metal rails are plastic rails
14. There's a gap between the bottom of the frame and the magazine floorplate
15. The front sight is slightly offeset
16. The rear sight is slightly offset
17. The trigger is terrible
18. The reset is terrible
19. It won't manually cycle snap-caps
20. It won't manually cycle ammo
21. The polymer overhangs the back of the slide
22. The frame rails appear bent
23. The frame seems to vary in width
24. He now recalls all the reading he did online, including the "fact" that what he purchased is a known problematic pistol design.
So whats Joe to do? Joe's a smart guy. All the Shlabotnicks are. He gets online, finds a user forum and posts a full twenty four new threads, each dealing with one specific item from his list of two dozen possible reasons that his pistol is used, returned, defective, a blem, unsound, unsafe, inaccurate, and dangerous to the user, and how he cannot possibly ever have his life depend on such an item.
All of this in the course of less than a day, and before shot number one has been fired.
Folks online try to help, try to calm and assuade his fears. They offer sound advice borne through long experience. Joe finally gets his man cards back into a deck of 21, and takes his new pistol to the range. He proudly displays it, then asks to compare it to every other pistol available to try, same make, model or not. Unimpressed, Joe decides to try his new piece of junk. He orderes up a box of bargain basement reloads, and goes to the firing line. The ammo wont cycle, he has feeding problems, the slide fails to stay back, and he can't hit a No. 2 washtub at ten feet.
Thats it. Joe has proved to himself he was correct after all, and that everyone online is a stupid ass.
And, he gets back online to let them know just how he feels about the pistol, the design, the company that made it, and his estimation of their supposedly great advice.
Feeling a bit more at ease with himself, Joe then returns to the range, trades in his slightly less than new pistol for another type, taking a huge hit in money.
But, then again, Joe knows best!
During the trip home, from the FFL/gunshop, invariably the firearms demons go to work. Joe S. gets home, opens his new pride and joy and is taken back in a deep blue funk.
*** choosing one, several, or all, to immediately disqualify his pistol as new ***
1. Its dirty
2. The pistol didn't come in a bag
3. The instruction manual didn't come in a bag
4. There's no fired casing
5. The case is not the newest style he heard of online
6. There's a wear mark on the barrel hood
7. There's a wear mark on the barrel at the bushing area
8. There's a flake of polymer in the bag
9. There's a flake of polymer hanging from the frame
10. Evidence of hand fitting someplace, maybe somebody screwed with it.
11. The slide won't close with the empty magazine in place
12. There's a notch in the frame rail
13. What he thought were metal rails are plastic rails
14. There's a gap between the bottom of the frame and the magazine floorplate
15. The front sight is slightly offeset
16. The rear sight is slightly offset
17. The trigger is terrible
18. The reset is terrible
19. It won't manually cycle snap-caps
20. It won't manually cycle ammo
21. The polymer overhangs the back of the slide
22. The frame rails appear bent
23. The frame seems to vary in width
24. He now recalls all the reading he did online, including the "fact" that what he purchased is a known problematic pistol design.
So whats Joe to do? Joe's a smart guy. All the Shlabotnicks are. He gets online, finds a user forum and posts a full twenty four new threads, each dealing with one specific item from his list of two dozen possible reasons that his pistol is used, returned, defective, a blem, unsound, unsafe, inaccurate, and dangerous to the user, and how he cannot possibly ever have his life depend on such an item.
All of this in the course of less than a day, and before shot number one has been fired.
Folks online try to help, try to calm and assuade his fears. They offer sound advice borne through long experience. Joe finally gets his man cards back into a deck of 21, and takes his new pistol to the range. He proudly displays it, then asks to compare it to every other pistol available to try, same make, model or not. Unimpressed, Joe decides to try his new piece of junk. He orderes up a box of bargain basement reloads, and goes to the firing line. The ammo wont cycle, he has feeding problems, the slide fails to stay back, and he can't hit a No. 2 washtub at ten feet.
Thats it. Joe has proved to himself he was correct after all, and that everyone online is a stupid ass.
And, he gets back online to let them know just how he feels about the pistol, the design, the company that made it, and his estimation of their supposedly great advice.
Feeling a bit more at ease with himself, Joe then returns to the range, trades in his slightly less than new pistol for another type, taking a huge hit in money.
But, then again, Joe knows best!
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