An Idiot Apocalypse!

[jocko]

Those in the fold know this, and thats why they call some dealers "stealer dealers".

We've got two good dealers, Treasure Coast HD and Palm Bay HD, the latter will discount bikes below MSRP on a regular basis, and at last look they had about 200 bikes on the floor of their showroom. The dealer I spoke of has maybe 50.

I could tellyou some real horror stories cjb, but u have heard them all to..Just sayin

[AJBert]

Someone, without my permission or knoweldge, borrowed my new fat bike, and put it back with the seat improperly adjusted, the front derailer bent, the right crank arm bent and the left bottom bracket bearing popped out of its cage. No major paint damage anyplace. Makes me wonder how in the world it happened.

I'm sorry, but I have to confess. It was me that "borrowed" your bike. I won't really go into the how or why but if you send me the bill I'll see if I can't scrape up a few bucks for the replacement parts. As a side note, DO NOT try to jump five busses with it. Trust me, the outcome isn't pretty!

[SlowBurn]

Someone, without my permission or knoweldge, borrowed my new fat bike, and put it back with the seat improperly adjusted, the front derailer bent, the right crank arm bent and the left bottom bracket bearing popped out of its cage. No major paint damage anyplace. Makes me wonder how in the world it happened.

Anyway, due to the nature of the ultra-z level bottom bracket bearing, and it fitting only that crank, and vice versa, I'll be getting a new SRAM crank. No big deal, and the parts are renewable, unlike the present parts.

Went to the local bike store. I want to order a bottom bracket and crankset. Its a SRAM X5, 100mm wide, english cups and 36/22 chain rings.

Them: What bike is it for?

Me: Motobecane fat bike

Them: We don't sell Moto parts

Me: I'm asking you for a SRAM part, not Moto

Them: Ok, what bikes it for?

Me: Like I said, its for a Motobecane fat bike, but I want a SRAM X5, 100mm width, english cups and 36/22 chainrings

Them: Its not made

Me: Trust me, its made, and guys put them on the Moto's all the time, they even come on new bikes by other folks, how about you look it up

Them: Where did you find it?

Me: I went to the SRAM website.... and to AMAZON

(they go to AMAZON)

Them: Well that looks like what you asked for.

Me: Ok, get me one

Them: We can't order from AMAZON for you....

Me: I'm not asking you to, I'm asking you to order one from your supplier

Them: We can't, we don't have the part number

Me: Its on the AMAZON page....

Them: Ok, there it is. Yup, distributor has several available for us too.

Me: Great. How much is it, and when can you get it.

Them: We can't find out the price until we place the order.

Me: Well its $169 on Amazon, and that happens to be MSRP on the SRAM page, so as long as its not more than that I'll take it, so place the order and lets get this going.

Them: They're open again on Monday.

Me: Ok, place the order Monday, call me up, and I'll come in and pay, or just leave you a hundred dollars now to show you I'm serious about needing it

Them: We can't order parts unless they're paid in full.

Me: Ok... let me get this straight. You can't tell me the price until you place the order, but you want me to pay in full in order to order it.

Them: Yeaup!

I walked out, and heard 'em say thanks for wasting their time! Needless to say, I called up Daytona Bikes, ten minutes before closing, the guy was smart and courteous, had all the part numbers in about 30 seconds, and told me it was ten till closing and his registers were shut down till noon tomorrow. He offered to call me back, tomorrow, to get all my information, but I told him I'd call, as my schedule was hectic. Said three days to get the parts.

And the guy at the bike shop was the same one that ripped off half his thumb by sticking it in a moving rear wheel to stop it during a repair. Brakes? or a SNEAKER even? Jeeze.

So, I'm reminded of a zombie apocalypse, except.... one full of idiots instead.....

Great story
Moral #1 - Bike locks, use em. Especially in your own garage.

True story: My wife went into a bagel place for lunch. Q Hi, what would you like? A. I'd like a tuna bagel sandwich on an everything bagel please. Q We don't have tuna bagel sandwiches, we have roast beef, ham and cheese, .. see up there on the menu? A Then I'll just have an everything bagel, toasted. Q What would you like for your side dish? A What are my choices? Q Cole slaw, macaroni salad, tuna salad?

[yqtszhj]

True story: My wife went into a bagel place for lunch. Q Hi, what would you like? A. I'd like a tuna bagel sandwich on an everything bagel please. Q We don't have tuna bagel sandwiches, we have roast beef, ham and cheese, .. see up there on the menu? A Then I'll just have an everything bagel, toasted. Q What would you like for your side dish? A What are my choices? Q Cole slaw, macaroni salad, tuna salad?

I can completely see that happening. The brainless masses we have to deal with...

[b4uqzme]

I can completely see that happening. The brainless masses we have to deal with...

You guys spoil me. Everyone around here is pretty smart. Then I go out in the real world...

[laserfish]

The ones I hate are at my local auto store. Used to be the employees knew cars up, down and sideways. Now the guys (and one girl) only know what is on the computer. Even if they don't know, which is most of the time, they will argue with you because it says it on the computer. Sheesh, I must be getting old, I am sounding like my grand dad.

[CJB]

Great story
Moral #1 - Bike locks, use em. Especially in your own garage.

True story: My wife went into a bagel place for lunch. Q Hi, what would you like? A. I'd like a tuna bagel sandwich on an everything bagel please. Q We don't have tuna bagel sandwiches, we have roast beef, ham and cheese, .. see up there on the menu? A Then I'll just have an everything bagel, toasted. Q What would you like for your side dish? A What are my choices? Q Cole slaw, macaroni salad, tuna salad?

I use a Kryptonite loop, and a seperate 13mm cable through the tires! But, alas, not in the garage.

Your Tuna Salad story reminds me of a little incident I had, which I got to play Jack Nicholson in (almost)!

Rode the Harley over to Indiantown, Fl and pulled into the Pioneer Diner for breakfast. It was five after eleven AM. One couple in the place at a table. I sat at the tiny counter, so waitress would have an easier time of it.

Whathca havin?

Coffee and...

Oh I just wanna let you know, we stopped serving breakfast, we're on lunch now.

What time is it?

Eleven ten.

I can't get a couple of eggs and toast?

Not thats breakfast, wer're on lunch now.

(My mind thinks back to Five Easy Pieces....)

Ok, can I get hardboiled eggs with my lunch

Sure can.

With toast?

No toast is only on the breakfast menu

(and now I KNOW I'm doing Five Easy Pieces!!!!)

You folks make a BLT?

Sure hon!

Ok, I'd like a BLT on white toast. Hold the lettuce. Hold the tomato. Hold the mayo, and hold the bacon (and I couldn't bear to tell her "between your knees", mostly because I was hungry...)....... on the side?

Oh we can do that!

Ok, and I'd like two hardboiled eggs with that too.

Ok, sure thing, coming right up!

~~~~

I swear to God.... my mind was bursting after that. Of course it was chicken salad in the movie etc etc... but still! And.... she had no clue, and I mean ZERO clue that she was being used to see how the scenario would act out. She was a youngun, and no doubt never saw the movie.

[Planedude]

The ones I hate are at my local auto store. Used to be the employees knew cars up, down and sideways. Now the guys (and one girl) only know what is on the computer. Even if they don't know, which is most of the time, they will argue with you because it says it on the computer. Sheesh, I must be getting old, I am sounding like my grand dad.

You need to talk to my son. His second job is selling car parts in Saginaw Texas, part time. He regularly has higher sales numbers than his fulltime coworkers. I was picking up some wiper blades from him one day and a customer, realized that this was my son and stopped me. The man was the owner of a local, high end foreign car repair shop. He related that a customer brought him a late 60s Rolls Royce silver shadow and wanted the side draft carbs rebuilt and the car tuned up. Needed to purr like it did when new. After a week of fruitless searching, too many folks said to "call Travis at the Saginaw O'Reilly". He admitted to being very skeptical but finally called because he was out of options. Once he talked to My son, he was pleasantly surprised. My son was very interested in the project, asked the exact right questions about the carbs and guaranteed nothing for sure but some good hard searching.
A few hours later The shop owner said he received a call saying the parts runner was on his way then offered useful advice on rebuilding the carbs. He said the only suspicious thing he had heard from my boy was the statement that he was sending a tube of a high dollar copper based paste sealer for the carb to manifold mate. The tube was about $45 bucks and he was sure the young salesman was just "upselling" him. He reported he happily did the rebuilds, a blast on such a great old car and everything went smooth. He left the tube of uber-seal on the bench with plans to send it back for a refund...
Until he fired the Rolls up and found the carbs vacuumed leaked at exactly the place that my son told him it would. He told me, with a rye smile, that he carefully removed the carbs, used the uber- seal as instructed and never again doubted anything my son told him about what a car needed.
This shop owner then gave a firm handshake and told me I should be proud of my son.
You know what, I am very proud of that smart, hard working young man and he is living proof that you can raise an American from a child with a good head on his shoulders (like all of us did) and not a head up their ass.

Sorry to waste column space bragging, but if your lucky and look enough, you can find competency in America today. Best of luck in the search folks.

[SlowBurn]

I swear to God.... my mind was bursting after that. Of course it was chicken salad in the movie etc etc... but still! And.... she had no clue, and I mean ZERO clue that she was being used to see how the scenario would act out. She was a youngun, and no doubt never saw the movie.

Perfect. Now if only Karen Black and Sally Struthers had been there to ease your... bursting mind.

[SlowBurn]

Sorry to waste column space bragging, but if your lucky and look enough, you can find competency in America today. Best of luck in the search folks.

That's good to hear. These days anytime I find anyone with your son's competence at anything, I save their contact info like a precious jewel, cause they're even rarer.

[laserfish]

Always good to hear those people bragging on their son. Congratulations for raising someone who will actually think and problem solve. They are becoming rare.

[jlottmc]

That story reminds me of a couple of recent debacles with parts houses for work. Short version I call the generator parts number press the option for parts research (couldn't find anything online) I get George, I tell him I need a high level fuel sensor. His response "I don't know what that is." I hung up after that. The other was the manufacturer kicking me over to a distributor when I was looking for technical specs (and they missed the other two models I was asking about). Their e-mail response was basically they didn't have a clue.

[CJB]

Tonite.... jeeze

I'm at Walmart buying a case of suds, and bread and such... only a few items. All the quick check out lines are taken up by able bodied AA's who regularly fill their little motor baskets, and ease their way into the limited item checkout lines with double or treble the limited amount.

I went to a regular check out, beind an older couple almost finished with their transaction.


You'll have let the machine read the chip in your card, the checkout gal says to the white haired old guy.

Wha?

Put your card into the blue slot on the checkout pad, she says.

Wha, who... its bad?

His wife goes... Just stick it in Harry!

Stick it in where?

Right there... its all ready, just stick it in!

(he fumbles with the card as his white haired wife watches)

It wont go in

Try again Harry....

I'm telling you it wont go in!

You've got it in the wrong spot, she says

(I slap my forehead.....)

No! Its in the right spot, it just wont go in

Here (she says) let me stick it in for you.....

No! I can do it!

No you cant!

Yes.... yes I can, right into the hole here.... and it still wont go in!

(his wife grabs the card)

Here, see... right in, and then out again.

Checkout lady: You have to leave it in until its done.

At this time... I'm thinking... this is beyond belief... he hasn't had "it" in for decades!

[SlowBurn]

Starting to love this thread

[Dbholfo]

Starting to love this thread

Yep.