Anybody heard from JUNE....

[jeepster09]

Rooster in his declining years

---

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.

"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself."

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.

"You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!"

So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.

After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.

"Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

[jeepster09]

So I get home this morning and my dog is laying on my porch covered in dirt and mud and has a rabbit in his mouth. He's not bloody, just dirty.
Now, my neighbors raised these rabbits for 4H and have blue ribbon winners. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I get the rabbit away from my dog, I take it inside, wash all the dirt off and before my neighbors got home I took it over, put him back in the cage and went back home.
Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming, so I go out and ask them what's wrong?
They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.

[jeepster09]

Fascinate

---

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"

Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."

The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."

Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."

[jeepster09]

Smart "Little Johnny"

---

New school year started and little Johnny’s teacher said she will ask a quiz question every Friday. If the kids got the question right, they would have no homework and no class on Monday.

The first Friday came and the teacher asked, “Who can tell me how many stars are there in the sky?” Little Johnny jumped up and answered 1000. The teacher said that’s wrong. She assigned the homework and said, “See you all on Monday.”

Next Friday came and the teacher asked, “Who here can tell me how many fish are in the sea?” Little Johnny was called on to answer and he said 10,000. The teacher said “That’s incorrect, see you all on Monday,” and she assigned homework.

Before next Friday came little Johnny bought black bouncy balls. At the end of the class, when the teacher said it was quiz time, Johnny started bouncing them all over the room. Irritated, the teacher asked, “Alright, who is the comedian with the black balls!?!”

Little Johnny raised his hand and exclaimed “Chris Rock! See ya Tuesday!”

[Bawanna]

Excellent!

[wyntrout]

Crocs and gators in Florida news: http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-...dow-police-say

Not to be outdone, a crocodile crawls into a boat in Miami. Yes, there are crocs in Florida.

https://www.instagram.com/p/ByVAQ-Vl...eo_watch_again

[jeepster09]

That is ONE of the reasons I don't live in Florida.....there are more reasons.....

https://www.floridatoday.com/story/n...on/1337326001/


https://www.nationalgangcenter.gov/G...ted-News?st=FL


https://owlcation.com/stem/6-Most-Da...kes-in-Florida


Not all bad......

[ltxi]

Boobs are too big....

[Redwood]

June is busting out all over!

June better get a bigger dress.

[kenemoore]

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’
The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly…
‘I think the man would have said – ‘Well, F#ck me!! A talking pig!’
The teacher had to leave the room.

[Ed M]

wall.jpg

[jeepster09]

Explain this

---

One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar.

"What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender.

''Some things you just can't explain."

''Try me.''

"Okay. I was milking my cow this morning and I filled the bucket clear to the top. Then the dumb cow knocked it down with her left leg, so I grabbed some string and ties her left leg up. Then I milked her again and the stupid cow knocked it down with her right leg. So I grabbed some string and tied up her right leg. I then milked her again and the cow knocked it down with her tail. But this time I was out of string, so I decided to use my belt, so I tied it up with my belt. Just then my pants fell down and my wife walked in.''

"You're right," said the bartender. "Some things you just can't explain."

[jeepster09]

I wrecked my Harley

---

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."

[AIRret]

Thanks for the laughs folks.

[wyntrout]

A blonde...