Happy Birthday, Bawanna!

[jimbar]

Thanks, my friend, I had surgery in mid August, didn't turn out well, was confined to chair for about 3 weeks, stuck in a nursing home/re-hab facility. I have progressed from the chair to a walker, and now to a cane.Still can only walk short distances even with cane. I see surgeon next week to discuss options. I knew you , of all folks would understand what this is like. I had almost reached a peace of mind, of sorts that I may be on wheels for a long time, but I hope one more surgery will nix that option.
Will let you know how it turns out.

[Bawanna]

Dang it, you should have told us this in August. I love harassing people in nursing homes and rehab centers, great fun especially if you get to leave after you get everybody fired up. If I could hear worth beans I'd be doing it on a regular basis.
I also know the worst part of those places is when you don't have somebody visiting ya and your alone with your thoughts. I'd of been there messing with your thoughts big time.

Keep us posted as things progress, if the doctor needs an arse whooping, I have skils in that area as well.

I'm pondering a visit to North Carolina to harass Dietrich out of his blues and scarey thoughts but I can take care of your doctor when I get back.
Probably won't happen anyhow, the logistics on that trip are huge.
Might just recruit a posse from the area and mount an assault from headquarters.

[tv_racin_fan]

Happy birthday dude!

[quikduk]

Bawanna,

It is a good thing I finally tuned back in or I'd be a whole week late. Happy Birthday!!! ... and many more!

[Bawanna]

Must be winter coming on. Another buddy thats been gone awhile. I kind of like fall when lots of folks that have lives come back inside and have time for kahrtalk.

[Kahrnonymous]

Happy belated Birthday Bawanna!!!

[cgo99]

Better late than never, happy B-day Bawanna.

YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN...

- When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
- When your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.
- When a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest you.
- When you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
- When your wife says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
- Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
- When you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
- You know you're getting old when your semi-annual erection becomes an annual semi-erection!
- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- Your back goes out, but you stay home.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- Happy hour is a nap.
- When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure that the street is still there.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your memory is shorter and your complaining is longer.
- The pharmacist has become you new best friend.
- It takes twice as long to look half as good.
- The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
- You look for your glasses for a half an hour, and then find that they were on your head all the time.
- You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
- You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
- You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
- You don't know real embarrassment until your hip sets off a metal detector.
- Let's face it, traveling just isn't as much fun when all the historical sites are younger than you are.
- Every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.
- You're suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. You go to the mall and forget where I parked my car.
- Age always corresponds inversely to the size of your multi-vitamin.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
- If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

[cgo99]

- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
- You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."
- Someone compliments you on your layered look.... and you're wearing a bikini.
- You start video taping daytime game shows.
- You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.
- At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
- Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
- Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
- It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
- You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
- You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
- You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
- You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
- You look both ways before crossing a room.
- You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
- You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
- You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.
- Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
- Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
- The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.
- All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.
- The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You are proud of your lawn mower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- Neighbors borrow your tools.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
- You have a dream about prunes.
- You send money to PBS.
- The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You know what the word "equity" means.
- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
- Your ears are hairier than your head.
- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
- You got cable for the weather channel.
- You can go bowling without drinking.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
- Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
- Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
- You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
- You don't remember when your wild oats turned to prunes and all bran.
- You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
- You don't remember being absent minded.
- "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.

[kramm]

Happy belated Birthday!!

[getsome]

Happy belated birthday you ol f@rt...I was away last week and missed the party....

[Bawanna]

Happy belated birthday you ol f@rt...I was away last week and missed the party....

Awww man! Wondered where you were. I still got some Geritol left over from the party and I think some Ensure. We'll just have to have another party.

[wyntrout]

And Depends for all!

Wynn