If U have > 31,999 rds thru UR PM9, this is 4U

[TriggerMan]

A Fairy Tale Just for Men

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, Will you marry me?
The Princess said, No!!!

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and had sex with skinny long-legged big-boobed broads.

He hunted and fished and raced cars and went to strip bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan rum.

He never heard b!tch!ng and never paid child support or alimony and made love to cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans.

He blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

THE END.

[TriggerMan]

Taking our demographics into consideration....

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra "can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?" I can cut them for you said Dan the Pharmacist. But a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. I am 96 said the old man. I don't want a full erection! I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.

[TriggerMan]

A guy goes to his doctor because his ***** has turned orange. The doc examines him and doesn't find any obvious reason for the unusual color, so he says to the guy, "Maybe the cause is environmental. What do you do for a living?" The man replies, "I don't work." Doc asks, "What do you do all day?" "Nothing. I just sit around watching the Playboy Channel and eating Cheetos."

[JFootin]

Taking our demographics into consideration....

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra "can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?" I can cut them for you said Dan the Pharmacist. But a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. I am 96 said the old man. I don't want a full erection! I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.

LOL! Thanks! I'll try that!

[TriggerMan]

A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie

the ticket agent asked, "sir, what's that on your shoulder?"

the old farmer said, "that's my pet rooster chuck. Wherever i go, chuck goes."

"i'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent "we can't allow him in the theater."

the old farmer went around the corner and stuffed chuck down his overalls.

Then he returned to the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theater.
He sat down next to two old widows named marion and marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. . .
The old farmer unbuttoned his fly so chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie.

"marge," whispered marion.

"what?" said marge
.
"i think the guy next to me is a pervert."

"what makes you think so?" asked marge?

"he undid his pants and he has his thing out", whispered marion.

"well, don't worry about it", said marge.. "at our age we've seen 'em all"
"i thought so too", said marion, "but this one's eatin' my popcorn...!"

[TriggerMan]

The Stowaway

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.

From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy ."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

[ripley16]

Thanks, I needed some good laughs.

[wyntrout]

...Cheerios and ...popcorn had me rolling on the floor... almost. Thanks, guys.

Wynn