May's Mother of all threads Mayhem. Be nice.

[southsound]

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties. The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment-I spit on your ties. I need water!”

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but... I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need... Go In Peace."

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead and gasped... "They won't let me in without a tie!”

[mamaleader]

:80:

I just wanted to use that ^^ smiley. I figured this was the place for it

[DeaconKC]

A man spotted an old time tent revival meeting and out of curiosity decided to attend. At the end of the Fire and Brimstone sermon, the preacher said if anyone needed special prayer to come forward and he would lay hands on them and pray. Eventually the man found himself in front of the preacher who asked him what his burden was. He replied "I need prayer for my hearing." the preacher slapped his hands over the man's ears and prayed a beautiful prayer, removing his hands he looked at him and said "How is your hearing?" The man replied "I don't know, it's not until Tuesday."

[Barth]

Study pegs cost of immigration bill’s mass legalization at $6.3 trillion

WTF
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013...zation-at-63t/
"Those who claim that amnesty will not create a large fiscal burden
are simply in a state of denial concerning the underlying redistributional nature
of government policy in the 21st century,"

[OldLincoln]

More future Democrat votes! Can't we find any country overflowing with future Republicans we can invite over. I'm genuinely concerned we may have seen our last Republican administration.

[MW surveyor]

Warning graphic content

For all you people that hate the squirrels getting into the bird feeder.

[mr surveyor]

If he's still warm, he's still edible

[JFootin]

May's Mother of all threads Mayhem. Be nice.

That's not nice. That's disgusting!

[MW surveyor]

That's not nice. That's disgusting!

Ok, so as not to offend anyone else, I've removed the offending picture.

(However, I think that there are some people that may have found it to have been just desserts for the squirrel.)

[OldLincoln]

I think squirrels are cute.... for a rat.

[getsome]

We had a squirrel fall down our chimney while we were on vacation one year and that one little rat did over two thousand dollars damage trying to get out....He chewed up 5 window sills before finally kicking the bucket.... The windows looked like someone took a chain saw to um, I couldn't believe one small animal did all he did...Home Owners Insurance company (The Good Hands People) said they didn't cover rodent damage so I had to eat the repair costs....

If I had found a squirrel hanging like that in my yard I would have just left his sorry carcass there as a warning to his furry a$$ friends....I HATE squirrels...

[Tinman507]

You gotta make it plain who did this, so they think twice about trying it again.

[ltxi]

For almost 20 years now we've had a bird feeder for the squirrels and the birds and rabbits that feed off the ground after squirrels knock everything out of it. It sits just above a post and rail fence to make it convenient.

Second bird feeder, for the birds, is less accessible and stocked with seed they don't like as much.

All be in harmony until the deer show up to piss off the squirrels.

[OldLincoln]

I really like to watch the tiny yellow finch so I bought a really nice bird feeder for small birds and set it out. The yellow finch went for it big time then after a week or so we had blue jays going after the finch. The feeder didn't accommodate jays so they would try to hang onto the side and scoop out seed onto the ground. It wasn't long until I had no finch but a lot of jays. Now the feeder sits empty and the blue jays have thinned after a couple years but I still haven't seen a tiny yellow finch.

I do have a hummer feeder out and a family guard hummer runs off other hummers. I'm going to put out at least one other feeder across the yard to see what he does. May have to add in the other feeders around the yard to see if he gives up or dies trying.

[ltxi]

The trick is the seed mix. Our bird bird feeder caters to small birds. Our squirrel bird feeder has the jays distracted fighting the squirrels.