November's Nefarious Number of Neglected Notions

[LorenzoB]

November's Nefarious Number of Neglected Notions

Just got home an hour ago with my wife. The surgery to repair her broken ankle went fine, and now the long road to recovery begins. Lord willing she'll be back on her feet by New Years.

New Years? Ouch! We will be praying for you. Hope you didn't have a lot of holiday plans. Did you look into one of those knee scooters yet?

[LorenzoB]

November's Nefarious Number of Neglected Notions

And Lorenzo, I didn't mean to neglect you. I hope you get home safely and your recovery is swift. Y'all have a Happy Thanksgiving, too!

Wynn

Thanks Wynn!

[jeepster09]

Intuitive drunk
A woman is in the grocery store and she diligently does her shopping. She unloads her cart on the conveyor belt which are:

A head of lettuce
bottle of orange juice
Quart of milk
Package of spaghetti noodles
a bunch of bananas
a bag of plums
a flank steak

As she finishes a drunk walks up to the same register and put down a large bottle of vodka. He then looks at the young lady and announces:

You must be single!

The woman was a bit startled but she was also intrigued by this drunks apparent intuition and ability to guess she was single by her items. So she asks, Sir, How did you know I was single?

The drunk replies: Because you are ugly as hell...

[OldLincoln]

Value Of Knowledge
A giant ship engine failed. The ship’s owners tried
one expert after another, but none of them could
figure out how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been
fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a
large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived,
he immediately went to work.

He inspected the engine very carefully, top to
bottom. Two of the ship’s owners were there,
watching this man, hoping he would know what to
do. After looking things over, the old man reached
into his bag and pulled out a small hammer.

He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine
lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away.

The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners
received a bill from the old man for ten thousand
dollars.

“What?!” the owners exclaimed. “He hardly did
anything!” So they wrote the old man a note saying,
“Please send us an itemized bill.”

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer………………… $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap………………… $ 9,998.00.

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an
effort makes all the difference!

[Tinman507]

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim
Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Lets have a look at the evidence:
- No Christmas
- No television
- No nude women
- No football
- No pork chops
- No hot dogs
- No burgers
- No beer
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower
- More than one wife
More than one mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife can't shave
- You can't wash off the smell of donkey
- You cook over burning camel sh*t
- Your wife is picked by someone else for you
- and your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"??
Well no sh*t Sherlock!....
It's not like it could get much worse
THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY!

They're not happy in Gaza ..
They're not happy in Egypt ..
They're not happy in Libya ..
They're not happy in Morocco ..
They're not happy in Iran ..
They're not happy in Iraq ..
They're not happy in Yemen ..
They're not happy in Afghanistan ..
They're not happy in Pakistan .
They're not happy in Syria .
They're not happy in Lebanon ..

SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?

They're happy in Australia .
They're happy in Canada .
They're happy in England ..
They're happy in France ..
They're happy in Italy ..
They're happy in Germany ..
They're happy in Sweden ..
They're happy in the USA ..
They're happy in Norway ..
They're happy in Holland .
They're happy in Denmark .

Basically, they're happy in every country that is not Muslim
And unhappy in every country that is!

AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?

Not Islam.
Not their leadership.
Not themselves.

THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN!

AND THEN; They want to change those countries to be like....
THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!

Excuse me, but I can't help wondering...
How damn dumb can you get?!

[jocko]

Never knew Muzzy's were brite in the first place..

[GROTMAN]

[OldLincoln]

At the Thanksgiving thing yesterday, most folks had left when a guy about my age came by to say goodnight. My wife may the comment "It's a good thing those two didn't talk earlier or they might have missed eating talking about guns." Well she should have kept that to herself as we stood there and talked guns for the next hour instead of getting on the road. He's into it much deeper than I involved in long gun competition and shoot a whole lot more. It was the funnest part of the night.