A new question for Dear Dietrich, I know your up there

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

I've recently received a wedding invitation for my neighbors daughter. Dear sweet child already at the tender age of 27 or 28, the years go by so fast. I was so excited for her. I tried to put my moves on her sister years ago but that's another story.

Alas I find out she's marrying another dear sweet girl! I think they might be lebanese. To say I was taken aback would be a mild understatement.

I'm not real comfy with this mano/mano, womano/womano marriage thing and I'm considering not going. I mean what if I throw up a little bit in my mouth or heaven forbid on the floor or one of the brides. Are they bride and bridet? This is all terribly foreign to me.

What should I do, I don't want to offend but I don't want to be there neither.

Concerned about nuptials in WA.

[b4uqzme]

Swallow your pride, have fun, drink their whiskey and offer to video record the honeymoon.

P.S. I want a copy.

[tjm]

You sure they Lebanese? Sounds more like Lybians to me. Great people, discovered the famous first dinosaur skeletons of the Lickalotopuss and the Megasoreass, and revolutionized carpentry with their tongue-in-groove joints.

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[b4uqzme]

Oh, and get them a two headed llama for a wedding present. You know...push me pull you.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

It gets worse. I've just been informed that my wife is doing the food for the wedding. So she doesn't have an out. I told her to reread my book just say NO again but to no avail. My daughter is due with our first grandbaby right about then too and there'll be no food if that happens. Wife is destined to be a doting grandma for sure.

How do I tell the difference between a lebanese and a libyan?

Two headed Llama? Those are 45's aren't they? Push me, pull me? You guys are wicked smart, I'm not into this cross dressing dress up doll stuff.

[tjm]

They both love to eat out. Libyans like seafood, clams and such, anything fishy really. Lebanese are more into beaver, and cat. Or so I'm told.

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[b4uqzme]

Dear Dietrich,

I'm not into this cross dressing dress up doll stuff.

You don't know what you are missing. I studied fashion design at the J Edgar Hoover institute. Just sayin'.

So if Mrs Bawanna is busy with the newborn, who cooks for the lollipop girls? You? That would be a sight to see. Can you get me an invite?

[b4uqzme]

They both love to eat out. Libyans like seafood, clams and such, anything fishy really. Lebanese are more into beaver, and cat. Or so I'm told.

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Tacos...they all love tacos....

[yqtszhj]

Dear Dietrich,

I've recently received a wedding invitation for my neighbors daughter. Dear sweet child already at the tender age of 27 or 28, the years go by so fast. I was so excited for her. I tried to put my moves on her sister years ago but that's another story.

Alas I find out she's marrying another dear sweet girl! I think they might be lebanese. To say I was taken aback would be a mild understatement.

I'm not real comfy with this mano/mano, womano/womano marriage thing and I'm considering not going. I mean what if I throw up a little bit in my mouth or heaven forbid on the floor or one of the brides. Are they bride and bridet? This is all terribly foreign to me.

What should I do, I don't want to offend but I don't want to be there neither.

Concerned about nuptials in WA.

Dear Concerned,

Go ahead and attend the wedding and for a wedding gift buy them matching boxes of condoms. Before wrapping the boxes include a note saying that they may not understand it at this time but eventually they will both conclude that for some reason they will find themselves unsatisfied in their relationship.

Once their misdirected newlywed feelings subside they will remember the wedding gift from Bawanna and will have the answer to gaining the satisfaction that is missing.

The best part is at that time you'll always be considered a dear friend and counselor forever.

Sincerely,

yqtszhj

[CJB]

Friend or no, I personally would not bury my convictions. Tell them since your wife is cooking the food, you're going out to a nice greasy spoon diner in order to get some decent chow.

[b4uqzme]

Dear Concerned,

Go ahead and attend the wedding and for a wedding gift buy them matching boxes of condoms. Before wrapping the boxes include a note saying that they may not understand it at this time but eventually they will both conclude that for some reason they will find themselves unsatisfied in their relationship.

Once their misdirected newlywed feelings subside they will remember the wedding gift from Bawanna and will have the answer to gaining the satisfaction that is missing.

The best part is at that time you'll always be considered a dear friend and counselor forever.

Sincerely,

yqtszhj

Fill the void, so to say......good thinkin'

[Alfonse]

I do miss Dietrich, but this is a great tribute.

[GROTMAN]

Unfortunately these types of events are becoming more and more the "normb". I can't tell YOU what to do but if your wife is cooking for them she might want to keep in mind that they are probably pretty much vaginarians.

[berettabone]

I'd definitely try to get in between those two................................

[itsthelaw]

How well does your wife know the brides?