SEPTEMBER! Remember anything goes here thread. Within moral and ethical guidelines.

[Bawanna]

That one you just ordered looks pretty good too. Looks like it would get the job done.

[TheLastDaze]

My son pitched a shut out game tonight.....!!!!! proud father beaming..........

[Barth]

My son pitched a shut out game tonight.....!!!!! proud father beaming..........

Nothing like a son or daughter doing well to make a father proud.

Savor these moments.

[GROTMAN]

A police officer was patrolling his beat late one evening when he noticed a car parked at the local lover's lane. The dome light was on but there didn't seem to be any activity inside. He parked and approached the car on foot.

When he got close enough he observed a young man in the front seat reading a magazine and a young lady in the back seat filing her finger nails.

He tapped on the window and asked the young man, "What are you doing sir?"

"I'm reading officer." The lad responded.

"Really, and what is she doing?" the officer asked.

"She is filing her finger nails." He answered.

"How old are you young man?" the officer asked.

"I am twenty-two years old officer." He responded

"And just how old is the young lady?" The officer inquired.

The young man looked at his watch and replied.

"Well officer, in eleven minutes she will be eighteen."

[TheLastDaze]

ahh the good ol days........

[yqtszhj]

FINE work on that hawk Bawanna! Now, you've got me looking at them again.

For digging, poking, and prodding; save that beauty for other work and get yourself an adz-hoe-pick/mini pick/grubber hoe/pick hoe/seen called quite a few things. They are handy tools to have around and (IMO) would make a decent weapon if need be. I keep one in all my vehicles (probably less of a conversation starter than a tomahawk under the seat would be).

http://www.fine-tools.com/japanese-garden-hoes.html
I've had this one a long time (yeah, it's my favorite:

Regards,
Greg

Well i learned something about Greg today. Bad guy better hope Greg has his gun because the other option will hurt a lot worse.

[GLOCKROCKER]

redneck.jpg

[jeepster09]

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.
One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East.
Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.
The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.
Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."
The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl,
"That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."

[GROTMAN]

In that same vein..
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General.

As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

The General said, "Well, is there anything I can do to help?"

The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there is... Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is a black American, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on 'Star Trek'.

The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future."

[Bawanna]

From the Just Jawin section of the Brownell's newsletter.

A little 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, he turns to her and asks, "Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"NO!" says the little girl as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, "Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks 'and' a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."


Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and screams, "Look Dad, you’re the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley!

"YOU RIDE IT!"

[DavidS]

Apparently history got it wrong. My daughter (mother to our twin 5-yo grandsons) posted this status yesterday.

"I've always thought the Giant in"Jack and the Beanstalk" got a bad rap. Here he comes home from work, and senses an intruder. H he yells out a warning, but goes in about his dinner. The intruder then steals his money, and returns two more times to steal more valuable and prized possessions. Finally he chases the intruder, and gets killed defending his home. Jack, the thief and now murderer, lives happily ever after on his ill gotten gains."

[Barth]

Phoenix is awesome.
I love living in Paradise Valley.
And I know I'm jaded - but American Express rocks!