February's Fun Farsical Favors

[b4uqzme]

It really hurts when you squirt hot coffee out your nose!!!....Good one Grot

FYI -- It's no different with whiskey... just sayin'.

[b4uqzme]

It's too bad that we don't have a "Like" button. I would comment more often by liking posts! :-)

I liked a LOT of the posts. I try to post stuff to share those that I run across that make me laugh.

Keep up the good work!


Wynn

...it has been a good month, hasn't it?

[yqtszhj]

You forgot to mention Hillary in the middle between them

LOL. I was just about to say that.

[wyntrout]

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A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, since it was pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was hammered for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
To which he replied. “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, and the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

***************************

[Bills1873]

More coffee out the nose! Darned funny!

[wyntrout]

BLONDE
Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one of the best -- because it makes football make sense!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but
I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...
'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo?
It's only 25 cents!!!!"

[DeaconKC]

Why did the blonde spend 2 hours staring at her Ford?
It said Focus

[CJB]

On the subject of blondes.... I happened to stop in this place in Port Charlotte, Fl yesterday. Saving grace was a nice classic outside

[Tpepper70]

This just cracks me up. Glad my wife understands me.

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say “I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:

Motorcycle won’t start…can’t figure out why.

Cruce Dum Spiro Fido

[Bills1873]

That would do it! Or, had a ftf today.

[wyntrout]

Irishman Says Something He Shouldn’t Have About His Wife At The Pub. This Is Brilliant.

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!’


That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!



He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of the night’

She said, ‘Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?’

John said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.’

‘Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!’ Mary said.



The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.



The man chuckled leeringly and said, ‘John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.’

She said, ‘Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears.

[GROTMAN]

Mrs O'reilly ?

[Bawanna]

Whew, heavy thigh.

[wyntrout]

[wyntrout]