February's Fun Farsical Favors

[wyntrout]

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”



The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and
when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”



The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”



The first kid says, “A circumcision.”



And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”

[wyntrout]

There was an old man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money.

He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want to take all my money to the afterlife.”

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, one day he finally died.

He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to their best friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife yelled, “Wait a minute!”

She had a shoe-box with her. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away.

Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man.”

She said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?” her friend asked.

“I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”

[RevRay]

She wrote him check ... that's funny!

[DavidWJ]

Sadly, only too true. Enabled and encouraged by the Demos (an appropriate name.)

[Dbholfo]

[kenemoore]

It's been a great month so far, the good ones just keep on coming in.

[wyntrout]

Funny, but VERY VULGAR & PROFANE bar song:

https://www.facebook.com/OkDumbass/v...8547644234123/

It's just nasty, but funny.

[wyntrout]

That's a pain in the ass





Ouch!

[wyntrout]

[wyntrout]

Fun beer!

https://www.facebook.com/mumcfo/videos/1740075836222242/


Watch 'til the end. It really gets funny at about 1 minute in.

Wynn

[wyntrout]

[Bills1873]

Oh no!

[RustyGunn]

Mom's Advice

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his ***** hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

[RustyGunn]

Wedding Prank

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist - were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the groom's buddies received the following note:

"DEAR FRIENDS,WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK. BUT I'M GOING TO KILL THE GUY WHO PUT NOVOCAINE IN THE VASELINE!"