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  • March Madness Kahrtalk Style

    How come you guys and TD2K let me slip and not start a free for all thread this month. Nobody noticed?




    THE OL'-BOY
    Gary Thiry, via e-mail

    A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

    Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, ”I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.”

    The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

    The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

    Finally the host says, “Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.”

    “No, that's okay. I don't want It,” said Leroy.

    The rich man said, “Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?”

    “No thanks, I don't want it,” answered Leroy.

    The host said, “Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?”

    Again Leroy said, “No.”

    Confused, the rich man asked, “Well, Leroy, then what do you want?”

    Leroy said, “I want the name of the ol’-boy who flanged me into da pool!”
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

  • #2
    78º here today. @ 80º the rattlesnakes come out. 3/5 year before last, I killed 2 off the front porch steps. That is the earliest I have ever seen them.

    Comment


    • #3
      [QUOTE=Jeremiah/Az;57541]78º here today. @ 80º the rattlesnakes come out. 3/5 year before last, I killed 2 off the front porch steps. That is the earliest I have ever seen them.[/QUOTE

      I imagine the global warming crowd will be saying "I told you so."
      In the area in which I now reside,when I`m placed in a group of four or five guys,I`m known as "the smart one".God help me.

      Comment


      • #4
        A young man moved out from his parent's home and into a new apartment, all his own. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

        While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe.

        The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him.

        As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

        The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

        After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.'

        He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

        Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

        Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

        Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears?!?!?'' Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.

        I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.

        How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'







        Clearing his throat, he stammered... 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me.'
        "Life Member NRA"
        I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

        Comment


        • #5
          Cutting Staff!


          An executive was in quandary. Due to budget cuts, he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that, in the morning, whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin. The executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like crap."
          "Life Member NRA"
          I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jeepster09 View Post
            Cutting Staff!


            An executive was in quandary. Due to budget cuts, he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that, in the morning, whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin. The executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like crap."

            Holy crap, that is great!!
            If it's a penny for your thoughts and you offer me your two cents, what happens to the other penny? Taxes, the democrats tax everything!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Deit I had a great friend who lived that a way before he passed on, I fixted him up with a Thompson Center pistol chambered for 3" Mag. 410. He was the Great White Hunter for the community for Rattle snakes.
              The kids were saying that their Grandmother started walking 5 Miles a day on her 80th Birthday. Now they don't know were she is!
              If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

              When the Government is wrong, it's dangerous to be right!

              Be who you are and say what you feel... because those that matter ... don't mind .
              .. and those that mind ... don't matter!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by jeepster09 View Post
                Cutting Staff!


                An executive was in quandary. Due to budget cuts, he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that, in the morning, whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin. The executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like crap."
                Needles to say he fired Jack.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Well I was looking at the calender a little bit ago, only recognized one name for birthdays this month. Have a good one Tilos. I quit counting after 24, I got my insurance discount, and can buy a pistol all day long (funding permitting), and have no intention of seeking public office, so I stay 24.
                  Attitude: it takes 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile...and 3 for proper trigger squeeze.

                  The olive branch is considered a symbol of peace, and good will. Last time I checked, it's still a switch.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    MARCH MADNESS is NCAA tourney time....Even my ol alma materis going tothe dance this year. Indiana State University, home of Larry Bird, Curt Thomas, Bruce Bumgarner and yes even ol jocko!!1 Bronze statues for 3 of those 4 are on campus, I am still "waiting".
                    . My PM9 has over 34,000+ rounds through it, and runs much better than an illegal trying to get across our border


                    NRA BENEFACTOR MEMBER


                    MAY GOD BLESS MUGGSY

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Bronze

                      Originally posted by jocko View Post
                      Bronze statues for 3 of those 4 are on campus, I am still "waiting".
                      They might not bronze you, jocko (although we all know you deserve it), but they may want to bronze that magical 30k+ round PM9 of yours!! :53: Good luck to your ISU team - they will definitely need it!!
                      "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend."
                      (J.R.R.Tolkien, The Two Towers)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        they won't get past the first game but that is OK. It has been 10 years since they have been to the dance and it will probalby net the atlethic program a million bucks in tv revenue..They ain't going anywhyere, trust me on that. They could bronze me holding the PM9 and kill two birds with one "bronze"..
                        . My PM9 has over 34,000+ rounds through it, and runs much better than an illegal trying to get across our border


                        NRA BENEFACTOR MEMBER


                        MAY GOD BLESS MUGGSY

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          did someone just call for a taxidermist?
                          ________________________________________
                          ---------------------------------------------------

                          It's not gun control that we need, it's soul control!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jocko View Post
                            MARCH MADNESS is NCAA tourney time....Even my ol alma materis going tothe dance this year. Indiana State University, home of Larry Bird, Curt Thomas, Bruce Bumgarner and yes even ol jocko!!1 Bronze statues for 3 of those 4 are on campus, I am still "waiting".
                            I assume that you're talking basketball. I really hadn't noticed.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Two guys one old one young


                              Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart


                              When they collide.


                              The old guy says to the young guy,


                              'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,


                              And I guess I wasn't paying attention


                              To where I was going.
                              The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a

                              coincidence.


                              I'm looking for my wife, too...'


                              I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'


                              The old guy says, 'Well,


                              Maybe I can help you find her..


                              What does she look like?'


                              ' The young guy says,


                              'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,


                              With red hair,


                              Green eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra,


                              Long legs,


                              And is wearing short shorts.


                              What does your wife look like?'


                              To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,


                              --- let's look for yours.'

                              (ADORABLE)
                              http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
                              In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
                              Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
                              Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
                              Cue sound of Head slap.

                              RIP Muggsy & TMan

                              Comment

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