The Thirsty Knot

[MW surveyor]

Long but good.

Two o'clock in the morning and a guy hears a knocking at his door. Guy goes and opens the door and sees a snail on his doorstep. The guy is mad, picks up the snail and throws it a far as he can, closes the door and goes back to sleep.


One year later, same time in the morning, knocking at the door. Guy answers the door and sees a snail. Snail says "What the heck was that for?"

[jocko]

ok guys, keep um coming, long or short, I have time!! I kinda liked the bell ringer one though...

course surv, for a short one, urs waqs super...

[jocko]

I had a drop deadgeorgeous 25 years old blonde come in t the coffee shop this monring where I was reading the Wall Street Jouran, she came right to e table and set down and said how u doing big boy!! I did what probaby most 67 year old geezers would do. I FARTED. and that was the end of the conversation. I'm gonna have to work on that alittle bit!! Thats a true story guys!!!

[jocko]

I had a drop dead georgeous 25 years old blonde come in to the coffee shop this monring where I was reading the Wall Street Journal, she came right to my table and set down and said how u doing big boy!! I did what probaby most 67 year old geezers would do. I FARTED. and that was the end of the conversation. I'm gonna have to work on that alittle bit!! Thats a true story guys!!!

[getsome]

In the voice of the old man on the TV show Pawn Stars,... "Oh My God"

[Willieboy]

Indian Chiefs

I assume you are all familiar with famous indian chiefs such as Sitting Bull, Cochise, Short Cake, and Geronimo. What's that? You say you've never heard of Chief Shortcake? Allow me to edify you.

Chief Short Cake was the head of a great Sioux tribe. One day, Short Cake called his brave together and they prepared to meet the Long Knives on the great prarie where a tremendous battle ensued. During the battle, tragically from perspective of Chief Short Cake, he was killed. After the battle, his braves picked up Short Cakes body and tied him over his indian pony. (No saddles were used by indians you know so Short Cake just rested on the pony's indian blanket.)

The braves returned to the indian village and decided to take the chief directly to the burial grounds and bury him before giving Mrs. Short Cake the bad news. However, to get to the burial grounds. it was necessary to go down Short Cake's street. As they passed Chief Short Cake's teepee, Mrs. Short Cake came out on the front porch. (In case you didn't know, only chief's had teepees with a front porch. They had balconys and patios too, but that's a matter for a different story.) Anyway, Mrs. Short Cake sees her husband draped over the saddleless pony and asks, "What's happend? What's happened to my husband, Chief Short Cake?" The braves reply that the chief had been slain in the great battle with the Blue Coats and they were taking him to the cemetary to bury him. Mrs. Short Cake says, "STOP! SquawBuryShortCake."

[Willieboy]

Speaking of Teepees

A guy goes to see his shrink and says, "Doc, I don't know what's the matter with me. One minute I'm a teepee. Next minute I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. I think I'm goin nuts Doc."

The shrink replys, "Don't worry, you're not going nuts. You're just too tents."

[Recycooler]

Two blondes driving down the road get a flat tire,pull into a station to get it fixed,one goes to the restroom,one asks the mechanic how to fix it.The blonde comes out of the restroom only to find her friend blowing into the tail pipe.What are you doing? she asks ,don't tell me you fell for that old trick,how dumb can you be? Don't you know that wont work unless the windows are rolled up!

[jimbar]

We're still doing these? OK, here's one.......

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

[MW surveyor]

Sure

we're still doing these.

Another short one:

Then there was a group of Democrats who were stranded over night on an escalator when the power failed.

[Bawanna]

we're still doing these.

Another short one:

Then there was a group of Democrats who were stranded over night on an escalator when the power failed.

Thats the video I was trying to post but I couldn't figure out how to post the link. Mindboggling.

[MW surveyor]

Whoa! Great minds think alike?

You mean there's a video out on this joke? Of course there would, we are in the video age! Can't just picture stuff in your mind. But I'll bet it made a good video.

[Bawanna]

I'll forward to your email , maybe you can figure out how to post it.

[MW surveyor]

It's in the May anything goes! And what the heck, here as well

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDNDcBkyOOM

[getsome]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the desert and at dawn Tonto pokes the Lone Ranger in the side to wake him up and says, Kemo Sabe look up and tell me what you see....Tle Lone Ranger looks around and says I see a beautiful day starting with the fog burning off and not a cloud in the sky in which I also see an eagle soaring on the wind looking for a meal, I also see the mountains in the distant haze still covered with snow....So Tonto tell me what you see...Tonto says I see-um that somebody stole-um tent last night...