August if it don't fit elsewhere it goes here thread.

[wyntrout]

Here's one of my favorite comic strips with something on Product Instructions:

http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2011/08/21

Wynn

[wyntrout]

The formatted columns didn't hold up, so I added "..." between the 2 columns:

Subject: Difference in Definitions
CALIFORNIA... TEXAS

Arsenal of Weapons... Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands... Swamp
Undocumented Worker... Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials... Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery... Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed... Well-protected
Narrow-minded... Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share... Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control... Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives... Fireworks or Stump Removal
Non-viable Tissue Mass... Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity... Socialism
Multicultural Community... High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress... Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich "... Self-Employed
Progressive, Change... Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged... Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle... Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future... Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform... Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater... Conservative
Truants... Homeschoolers
High Capacity Magazine... Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot... Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves... Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee... Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich "... Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby... NRA Members
Assault Weapon... Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus... New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage... Legalized Perversion
Accepted Facts... Horse Crap


Wynn

[jlottmc]

Nice Wynn, we do see things like that around here.

[JFootin]

NC gender equity protest urges women to go topless

In North Carolina, it is not against the law for women to bare their breasts in public, so a few protestors who want that "right" for women in all states, and a much larger crowd there to ogle, gathered in Pack Square in downtown Asheville today. Hey, you want weirdness and perversion? Just come to Asheville!

http://www.wlos.com/template/inews_w...wlos.com.shtml

[wyntrout]

Damn! Here are some signs I would like to see on the highway!



Wynn

[OldLincoln]

Jocko, met a man at a barbeque last night that is a rather rugged individual who rides a Harley. He told me what but all I remember is "something something Glide". Anyway he rides to Sturges every year and is quite a story teller. His name is Greg and he is in the sign business so I know you must know him. Chuckle.... He said his bike is getting up there with over 50K miles on it. I thought those would easily go 200K or more.

[ltxi]

Here's one of my favorite comic strips with something on Product Instructions:

http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2011/08/21

Wynn

The comic highlight of today's Sunday paper.

[Bawanna]

A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde ineconomy class gets up, and moves to the first classsection and sits down.the flight attendant watches her do this, and asksto see her ticket.she then tells the blonde that she paid for economyclass, and that she will have to sit in the back.the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'mgoing to toronto and i'm staying right here."the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tellsthe pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blondebimbo sitting in first class, that belongs ineconomy, and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries toexplain that because she only paid for economyshe will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'mgoing to toronto and i'm staying right here."

the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably shouldhave the police waiting when they land to arrestthis blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'llhandle this, i'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear,and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goesback to her seat in economy..

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed andasked him what he said to make her move withoutany fuss."i told her, "first class isn't going to toronto ".

[wyntrout]

Probably already posted here a few times... maybe by me, as well!

Wynn



A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.”

[Ubaldo99]

This is my newly installed Texas rain gauge. Dang, its hot and dry down here!

[TucsonMTB]

A plane is on its way to Toronto . . .

Hey B! Although you might get a different reaction, I just told your joke to my wife, who is a brunette.

She laughed so hard that she had tears coming out of the corners of her eyes!

[ltxi]

A plane is on its way to toronto,

I sent it to my blonde sister and two blonde female friends who travel a lot. The unanimous opinion was that this is the best blonde joke "EVR!"

[ltxi]

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote....

And this one had both my sister and brother-in-law laughing their butts off.