APRIL.... Who Could Forget April????

[mr surveyor]

hey, my Mom will be 84 tomorrow, April 1

[Bawanna]

hey, my Mom will be 84 tomorrow, April 1

We need to have a big birthday party for her. Kind of short notice but lets make it happen.


By the way, I guess I forgot April.

[Bill K]

That's great! What a blessing it was when my parents were both alive and in good health.

[ruf45]

A very happy birthday to your mom and hope she has many,many more

[O'Dell]

Forget April? Due to the surgery, I'm still trying to forget January, February, and March.

[Barth]

I'll be working April 1st.
Today too.

April is not looking good - LOL!

Big project goes live start of July.
Combining three companies.
New chart of accounts.
Conversion of legacy systems AP/GL/HR/MM to SAP ERP.

It will be a Circus for me till then.
Batten down the hatches baby - Storm Warning!

[OldLincoln]

Don't forget to set your clocks back tomorrow!

[Tinman507]

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

[JFootin]

Check out this man stopper!


http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/119481.html

[muggsy]

Don't forget to set your clocks back tomorrow!

Ya, right. I almost forgot.

[muggsy]

Check out this man stopper!


http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/119481.html

For a second there I mistook you for a man who didn't have a shrink ray.

[LorenzoB]

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

Took me a second. Good one!

[crazymailman]

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. .

3) July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6) August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8) August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9) September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11) October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12) October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’

14) October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:

15) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

[JFootin]

My sides are splitting!

[rwblue01]

Check out this man stopper!


http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/119481.html

Only if the TSA sees it.