August All Fun Thread / The good stuff goes here.

[MW surveyor]

I'm baaaaaack! From Saudi Arabia that is.

Don't know how you guys that live in Arizona or any of them real desert type states do it! Felt like I was in a convection oven most of the time. No clouds, lots of dust, really cooled off at night! Got down to only 95 degrees Fahrenheit.

Now I gotta catch up on all of the KT that I missed. I was however able to wish thetmanski good luck on the one day that I could get online. Looks like there is a thread that goes somewhere more than 77 posts about someone getting the pin stuck ahead of the barrel lug, and a whole bunch of others.

[MW surveyor]

Thanks.

MMMMMMMMMM real pork spare ribs tonight. Wife decided to have pity on me after I told her I was tired of chicken, beef bacon and chicken sausages! Who the heck ever thought of chicken sausage and why do they think they taste good?

[mr surveyor]

Thanks.

MMMMMMMMMM real pork spare ribs tonight. Wife decided to have pity on me after I told her I was tired of chicken, beef bacon and chicken sausages! Who the heck ever thought of chicken sausage and why do they think they taste good?

the same clown that dreamed up turkey bacon (and convinced my mother that you "can't taste the difference")

[Planedude]

Hey now, I eat Turkey bacon every day.


I know its turkey... Bacon...-ish but I eat it. Sigh, it's heck getting old.

Oh and mr Surveyor Welcome Back from the SandBox.

[OldLincoln]

Veteran Caps And Morons
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There
was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's
largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally
World to look at the Walmartians is always good for
some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty
normal after seeing some of the people that frequent
the establishment. But, I digress...enough of my
psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, the guy in front
of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you
a Viet Nam Vet?"

"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?"

"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of
1812."

I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried,
"When was that?"

God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an
opportunity.

"1936," I answered as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and
responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812
if it was in 1936?"

"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know
about it."

This was beginning to be way fun!

"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you
get to do something that COOOOL?"

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned
toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not
sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what
he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But,
didn't you kind of stand out?"

"Not really. The other guys were wearing white
camouflage."

The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You
can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret'
and I shouldn't have said anything."

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me
look.'

"Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

With a really hard look I said, "You have a family
don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen
to them, would we?"

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and
fled through the door. By this time the lady behind
me was about to have a heart attack she was
laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

After checking out and going to the parking lot I
saw Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a
young woman. Upon catching sight of me he
started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving
him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I
see you' gesture . He turned kind of pale, jumped
in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time!

Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland
Security cap.

Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the
right kind of cap!

[TucsonMTB]

"Walmartians" indeed! I think I have been in one twice, both times were a bit disappointing. Clearly, I need to wear a proper hat.

Maybe tinfoil would be good . . .

[OldLincoln]

Words Of Wisdom, Military Version
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
---------------------------------------------
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual
---------------------------------------------
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
---------------------------------------------
"You, you, and you .. Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
---------------------------------------------
"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance
---------------------------------------------
"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
---------------------------------------------
"Any ship can be a minesweeper....Once."
---------------------------------------------

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
---------------------------------------------

Clean it, if it's Dirty.
Oil it, if it Squeaks.
But: Don't Screw with it, if it Works!
- USAF Electronic Technician
------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."
USAF - Ammo Troop
---------------------------------------------
"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.
For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
---------------------------------------------
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )
---------------------------------------------

A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:
Latitude is Where We are Lost,
&
Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There!
- USAF Navi-guesser
---------------------------------------------

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
---------------------------------------------
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter --
however, it's probably unsafe in any case "
---------------------------------------------
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,
you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
---------------------------------------------
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;
If the controller screws up, ... The pilot dies."
---------------------------------------------

The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?"
"Where are we?"
And
"Oh "shoot"!"
---------------------------------------------
" Airspeed, altitude and brains.
Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."
---------------------------------------------
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation.
We never left one up there!"
---------------------------------------------
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground
who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
---------------------------------------------
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
---------------------------------------------

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
---------------------------------------------

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
---------------------------------------------

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked
when it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."
---------------------------------------------

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,
having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing,
the crash truck arrives;

the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?"

The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"

[OldLincoln]

I admit that I always thought of Rita Hayworth only as an actress but after all, she did proceed me by a few years. I was going through a video rabbit trail and came across this Rita Hayworth Dance Video Compilation of various movies that is simply too good to pass over. Okay you youngsters out there probably aren't interested but you should be if nothing other than expanding your education.

[Tinman507]

Pyongyang Traffic Girls From The Sky

[PattayaPistol]

Tinman, you've done it again. I laughed so hard, I think I need a pee too.

Thanks for the laugh.

Cheers
PP

[Tinman507]

[MW surveyor]

"And tomorrow, the world!"

"I'm so excited, I've got to pee!"

ROFLMAO!

[wyntrout]

No gun... and she seems to be too mechanical and ignored to boot... seems to make no difference to traffic movement.

Wynn

[OldLincoln]

Somebody hand them a bag of marbles and they'd really freak out! Everybody knows the British have been pushing traffic controllers out of planes for decades. After 20 drops they are ready to be catatonic palace guards.

[mr surveyor]

September starts on Saturday, for those that may have forgotten


Also, DOVE SEASON OPENS (in Texas, anyway) :59:



Just a reminder.... it will be September at 00hr UT on this coming Saturday