April Warning! Anything goes here! (Within reason!)

[GROTMAN]

I'm pretty sure this isn't legal.. but would be fun to try..

[mr surveyor]

I'm pretty sure this isn't legal.. but would be fun to try..

strange how all the other folks just down the line must have been deaf

[Barth]

strange how all the other folks just down the line must have been deaf

Stone Cold Deaf.
Nobody even glances at the action?

I call Bravo Sierra.

[Planedude]

Many, many moons ago I built a very fancy Potato cannon. To show it off I took it out to my Trap and Skeet club. We set the cannon up on the 16yd Trap line and with 20lbs of taters and several cans of brake clean for propellant, we started shooting tataers. About three shots in, a line of shotgunners formed to try and hit the out going spud.
Out of about fifty shots we got only three "spud-busters" which was great shooting as those taters was-a-moving.
Funny thing was' I could shoot most spuds over the fence 330yds away. Other side of the fence is a huge cow pasture and in it on that day was a knot of about 10 cows. After three shots we saw that wherever the spud projectial landed the cows would follow.
One smart arse noted that "even fresh beef wants fries with that..."

Fun times with fun people.

[wyntrout]

I always wanted to play with those. It's probably a good thing that I didn't!

I'm watching/listening to the Weather Channel trying to decide on whether or not to go ahead with our garage sale this Friday and Saturday... not looking good... 40% chance of rain and scattered thunderstorms. I included our whole street and gave out fliers and talked to those at home this past weekend. I need to decide soon and put in a newspaper ad if I'm going to chance it.

Last year the weather looked much better but got drizzly and spotty rain with crappy results for our sale.

Anyhow, I heard on the Weather Channel that Willie Nelson turned 80 yesterday! He's one of my favorite singers.

Wynn

[kahrseye]

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.


This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your a**hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'


She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.



It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

[Bawanna]

The Stella awards program could be entitled why bawanna has issues with judges and lawyers.

For you Snopes advocates be advised I did not check any of these but none of them surprise me in the least.


STELLA AWARDS:

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.



Here are the Stellas for year -- 2012:

* SEVENTH PLACE *



Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son



Start scratching!

* SIXTH PLACE *



Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.


Scratch some more...


* FIFTH PLACE *


Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more...


Double hand scratching after this one..


* FOURTH PLACE *


Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.


Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Only two more so ease up on the scratching...


*SECOND PLACE*


Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.


Ok. Here we go!!


* FIRST PLACE *


This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mphand calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?


$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

[MW surveyor]

It is a good thing for any of the above that I was not on the jury!

Gotta go take an aspirin, my head hurts.

[wyntrout]

May is almost here! I started the last "free for all". Who's going to bring in May!!

Wynn

[JFootin]

Those are the Bogus Stellar Awards, Bawanna

StellaAwards.com

pleading before the
Court Of Public Opinion
begs the court to take notice of
Stories Not from StellaAwards.com

May it please the court: Many stories are going around the 'net saying they are "The Stella Awards". Many of these stories are false, made-up, or (sometimes) true stories with false elements added to them. It makes no sense to use false examples of real problems when there are so many true examples that illustrate the actual problem.


The sad part: despite these stories having been debunked years ago, they not only still circulate, but many reporters, columnists and radio "personalities" still talk about them as if they were true, which says a lot about their professionalism. In many outrageous cases, these lazy "news" people will even link to this site as the source of these silly lies! What a ridiculous lack of standards they have!


The most-common e-mail example is the following, which the clerk has marked "Exhibit A". We've received many, many copies of it over the last few years, and no doubt you have too. You'll see what we mean by "bogus".




We believe the fabricated stories originated in 1994, as most versions mention Stella is "81 years old". She was 81 in 1994, and 91 when she died in 2004.

StellaAwards.com has found no evidence to support these stories, nor has the leading urban legend debunker, Snopes.com. The bottom line: after all these years, it's completely ridiculous for individuals to be fooled by these cases, yet every year even "legitimate" newspapers run these very cases crying "Ain't it awful?", and sometimes they even attribute these old dumb jokes to us, which shows just how poorly they do when it comes to fact-checking.


We've said it before, and we'll say it again: Truth is stranger than fiction. It makes no sense to use made-up stories to illustrate a real problem when there are real cases of lawsuit abuse going on all the time. And that's what we specialize in. Subscribe below for free to get true case reports as we release them!

Submitted by:
StellaAwards.com, In Pro Per
(Source: http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html)

[MW surveyor]

But, it was posted on the internet. It has to be true, right?

[OldLincoln]

That's just a big government conspiracy coverup like all them flying saucers. Maybe those folks were blinded by swamp gas and fell. I know because I actually wa involved in one.

My son with mom in car pulled into a shopping center but had to stop in the drive because a mother was pushing a carriage along the sidewalk while trying to manage another youngster by the hand. While stopped, a fancy road bike slammed into the rear quarter panel tossing the rider over the trunk and breaking his collar bone. Of course he sued and at arbitration he admitted he was looking down pumping hard trying to beat his prior time and never saw the car in front of him until he hit it. He was awarded $7,500 plus medical. Thing is if our car hadn't been there he would have plowed into that young family at about 35 mph. I suppose he would have sued them too. BTW, the was his second time suing for accidents he caused.

Moral is, as a defendant, you will never get a 100% judgement in your favor at arbitration. The decider is a lawyer and will make sure the plaintiff's attorney gets paid. Those stories above may not be true, but this stuff happens every day.

[jocko]

that was

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.


This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your a**hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'


She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.



It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

super. LMAOROTL I just sent it to my pastor. he will love it.