Dear Dietrich

[Ol'coot]

Dear Dietrich.

My wife has a schoolgirl fetish and I really want to please her so should I wear a pull over or button up blouse with my plaid skirt?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich.

My wife has a schoolgirl fetish and I really want to please her so should I wear a pull over or button up blouse with my plaid skirt?

Without a doubt,wear the button up but leave the top 2 or three buttons unbuttoned.A small tattoo of a rose on your backside will complete your ensemble.Wait a minute !! The muse is upon me !!

There once was a lad from Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia
The color was fine,likewise the design
But the aroma,eww,that was a failure.

Best, Dietrich

[jeepster09]

Dear Dietrich...
I walked into a drug store in Waco , Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help. I said that it was something that I would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

I then agreed and began by saying .......

'This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a .... Permanent Erection.

It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.'

The pharmacist said ...... 'Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister.'

When she returned, she said ...... We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is as follows:

1/3 ownership in the store ........
Two cooked home dinners a week .......
A new pickup.....
And $3,000 a month in living expenses.


What should I do? Will this help?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich...
I walked into a drug store in Waco , Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help. I said that it was something that I would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

I then agreed and began by saying .......

'This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a .... Permanent Erection.

It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.'

The pharmacist said ...... 'Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister.'

When she returned, she said ...... We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is as follows:

1/3 ownership in the store ........
Two cooked home dinners a week .......
A new pickup.....
And $3,000 a month in living expenses.


What should I do? Will this help?

If,between the two of them,they could only come up with two homecooked meals a week,I`d advise you to walk away while you still have some dignity.We men have made far too many concessions to women since the seventies and we need to start taking a harder line.I remember my reply to one of my ex-wife`s women`s lib friends when she asked for my opinion on women`s rights.I looked her straight in the eye and said "Women wouldn`t have any rights if men hadn`t given them to them." Remember those words in your daily travels and you will be a better man for it. Best,Dietrich.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich

My daughter is getting married in a mere 8 weeks. The guys good. (still alive). But my wife is already showing signs of becoming a bridezilla or whatever a mother of the bride that expects the world to stop so we can do wedding stuff. Yesterday she made me stop work on Melissa's spalted maple handles and cut out invitation announcements. Then picked apart my every effort. As usual she'll want our hovel to look like street of dreams. People know we're poor slobs, why do we have to impress people.

Is it wrong of me to want to deliver a ladder, vehicle with full tank of arab oil and a card wishing them their best on their elopement.
Actually she's already shacking up with him and its a one story house, so a freaking step stool would suffice.

On top of all that I had to pay for 5 tux rentals so we can be miserable and uncomfortable and look like trained monkeys or penquins.

Please help.

[melissa5]

Congrats, Bawanna! You'll look like a penguin with a walrus mustache!

[Bawanna]

Congrats, Bawanna! You'll look like a penguin with a walrus mustache!

Congrats for being led around by my nose ring which is why I keep the mustache full and vibrant to go less unnoticed?
He's a decent hard working boy from Dietrichville in fact. Charlotte North Carolina home of Gone with the Wind or maybe it was just Charlotte? Any how it's all good, I'm looking forward to it being over with. I'm sure it's gonna be a day.

We need to go easy, remember the chewing we got last time about letting the professionals handle it and all.

Tender egos and all.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich

My daughter is getting married in a mere 8 weeks. The guys good. (still alive). But my wife is already showing signs of becoming a bridezilla or whatever a mother of the bride that expects the world to stop so we can do wedding stuff. Yesterday she made me stop work on Melissa's spalted maple handles and cut out invitation announcements. Then picked apart my every effort. As usual she'll want our hovel to look like street of dreams. People know we're poor slobs, why do we have to impress people.

Is it wrong of me to want to deliver a ladder, vehicle with full tank of arab oil and a card wishing them their best on their elopement.
Actually she's already shacking up with him and its a one story house, so a freaking step stool would suffice.

On top of all that I had to pay for 5 tux rentals so we can be miserable and uncomfortable and look like trained monkeys or penquins.

Please help.

How truly unfortunate for you.

[jocko]

totally agree bawanna. I told my son the same thing, I would rather give him some money than to pay for a stupid weddng that aftrer it is allover, what do u have????

Hell I went to vegas for my second marrage, 75 bucks to rent the chapel, 50 bucks for the preacher, I was to cheap to pay for taped music . still married 26 years later... hopefully my son will follow in his dads tracks.

[Bawanna]

How truly unfortunate for you.

Do I detect a half grin / chuckle in your response?

I might have to get a second opinion from that Dear Abigail in the paper although I put much more faith in your wisdom than hers.

Wife told me I should take wednesday off since it's Oprahs last day. I asked if she was getting the Kavorkian appointment. Guess it's her last show.

Told wife I'd rather eat rusty barbwire, don't waste my time, pass the wire cutters.

[Dietrich]

Do I detect a half grin / chuckle in your response?

I might have to get a second opinion from that Dear Abigail in the paper although I put much more faith in your wisdom than hers.

Wife told me I should take wednesday off since it's Oprahs last day. I asked if she was getting the Kavorkian appointment. Guess it's her last show.

Told wife I'd rather eat rusty barbwire, don't waste my time, pass the wire cutters.

Tell your wife to forget about Oprah,Miss Manners,Dear Abbey and all the rest.Get her a copy of Southern Bride and she`ll be in the know for everything from decorative No Pest strips to keep the flies off the bridesmaids to the latest in floursack underwear.No need to thank me.Best,Dietrich.

[melissa5]

Oprah

She's so far up Obama's backside that she's about to come out of his mouth.

Hand me some of that barbwire!

[jdlott74]

Congrats for being led around by my nose ring which is why I keep the mustache full and vibrant to go less unnoticed?
He's a decent hard working boy from Dietrichville in fact. Charlotte North Carolina home of Gone with the Wind or maybe it was just Charlotte? Any how it's all good, I'm looking forward to it being over with. I'm sure it's gonna be a day.

We need to go easy, remember the chewing we got last time about letting the professionals handle it and all.

Tender egos and all.

Bawana dont be dissing those NC boys. There were some good ones out there. They could always do like jlottmc and I did and do the JP with a couplw witnesses and told NOBODY but our immediate family and still had a blessing of the civiln ceremony at the the church months later and then have a small pig pickin ar my parents house for the reception. Cost.less than $3,000 total

[jdlott74]

Congrats for being led around by my nose ring which is why I keep the mustache full and vibrant to go less unnoticed?
He's a decent hard working boy from Dietrichville in fact. Charlotte North Carolina home of Gone with the Wind or maybe it was just Charlotte? Any how it's all good, I'm looking forward to it being over with. I'm sure it's gonna be a day.

We need to go easy, remember the chewing we got last time about letting the professionals handle it and all.

Tender egos and all.

And BTW Dietrichville is LONG ways away from Charlotte and probably 20 times smaller. There is NOTHING in Atlantic NC except fishing and an old military air station that Cherry Point uses for training. Believe me I've been there.

[Dietrich]

And BTW Dietrichville is LONG ways away from Charlotte and probably 20 times smaller. There is NOTHING in Atlantic NC except fishing and an old military air station that Cherry Point uses for training. Believe me I've been there.

I beg to differ,madam.True,at one time there was nothing in Atlantic [aka.Dietrichville ] but now I am here.The women want me,the men are jealous of me and the fish fear me. Not to mention the ducks.I will admit it is a bit remote.We are so far back in the sticks that the radios still play WW II broadcasts.I was born and lived in Raleigh until we moved here last August.Either place still beats Charlotte in my book.