Dear Dietrich

[Dietrich]

A followup, dear Dietrich - what is your advice for those of us that already have need of glasses!?

Keep on keepin` on.Eyesight is overrated anyway.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

Every Monday morning I find it increasingly difficult to go to work. I find myself wanting to stay in my room, covered in sawdust, and butcher wood.
I sometimes like to go outside for air and "smell the roses".
Do you think this is an attitude issue or the beginning "budding" of a major physical or mental issue?

Signed,
I'm here but I sure don't wanna be.

[wayneo1]

If your a hamster your fine, if not then I would say you just got off on the wrong floor.

[Bawanna]

If your a hamster your fine, if not then I would say you just got off on the wrong floor.

Now that's funny right there. You must be a carpenter, you hit that nail dead square. Guess I better try another floor.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

Every Monday morning I find it increasingly difficult to go to work. I find myself wanting to stay in my room, covered in sawdust, and butcher wood.
I sometimes like to go outside for air and "smell the roses".
Do you think this is an attitude issue or the beginning "budding" of a major physical or mental issue?

Signed,
I'm here but I sure don't wanna be.

Your issue is neither attitude,mental or physical.It`s all a matter of bad luck.If you has been fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family you would not have to work.I feel your pain as my luck isn`t very good either.As my Grandaddy Dietrich used to say,"If it were raining vaginas I`d get one with a weenie stuck in it."Well,at least that`s sort of what he said.

[Bawanna]

Your issue is neither attitude,mental or physical.It`s all a matter of bad luck.If you has been fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family you would not have to work.I feel your pain as my luck isn`t very good either.As my Grandaddy Dietrich used to say,"If it were raining vaginas I`d get one with a weenie stuck in it."Well,at least that`s sort of what he said.

Do you think it's too late to seek a new family? Your Grandaddy Dietrich sure sounds like a wise man. I'm throwing every umbrella I can find away just in case ya know?

[wyntrout]

Even the rich and wealthy have problems. Poor Hugh got dumped at the last minute:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110615/en_nm/us_hefner

Poor guy... he could be her great, great grandfather... age-wise!

Wynn

[Dietrich]

Does Hefner really expect us to believe that he can keep up with a 25 year old piece of fluff at his age? Oh,puhleeze.I guess she figured a future of walking beside him and possibly carrying his colostomy bag wasn`t for her. Money can`t buy everything it seems.

[wyntrout]

And she took his favorite dog! I guess she got what she wanted out of the relationship.

He had probably just gotten a good bill of health from his annual physical and the wait to be his window was gonna take longer than she figured... or bargained for.

Wynn

[johnatw]

Dear Dietrich,
My wife asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said I always wanted a Kahr K-9. So on the big day she gave me a freaking retired police dog. So now I have to make a decision, the dog eats less, and is better behaved than my wife, but she is handy to have around. Should I keep the dog, or keep both?
Conflicted.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
My wife asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said I always wanted a Kahr K-9. So on the big day she gave me a freaking retired police dog. So now I have to make a decision, the dog eats less, and is better behaved than my wife, but she is handy to have around. Should I keep the dog, or keep both?
Conflicted.

Dear Conflicted,This is,of course,a choice that only you can make.Luckily for you though,I can offer some advice.In these tough economic times a handyman will work cheaper than usual and a dog can be put down if it gets to be a pain in the rump without your going to jail.Try putting your wife down if you don`t believe me.Even with the most understanding of judges you`ll still get several years in prison.Of course,you could take her on a vacation to a South American country and do away with her.There are places down there where you probably wouldn`t have to pay a fine over about fifty dollars... American.

[swampman]

itchy butt

Dear Dietrich,most nights I go to bed with itchy butt,and I wake up with brown finger.please help.This is very stressful.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,most nights I go to bed with itchy butt,and I wake up with brown finger.please help.This is very stressful.

Simplicity at its` best,my dear Swampman.Use your thumb instead.

[jeepster09]

Dear Dietrich.....

Cuddles hasn't been so cuddly lately, any thoughts on getting Cuddles back into being cuddly?

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

I am beginning to believe that there is something to that story about things that rearrange physical items that Stephen King wrote about. Cases in point, can't find my 8 round mag for my CW9 at the present time and last night I broke down my 1911 for cleaning and now can't find the recoil spring plug. I know the mag was put in the small handgun safe and now it's not there. The recoil spring plug was on the table last night, this morning it is missing and I can't find it anywhere.

I am really getting concerned that those guys that rearrange things as in the King novel are getting a bit out of hand. What should I do.

Freaking out in Houston

BTW - Cuddles ^^^ is seriously bothering me.