August's altogether awkward attempts at humor

[ltxi]

You know what just happened a little bit in my mouth.

Why? It's not like she wasn't wearing that thong.

[Barth]

If I comment of this thread I could be banned - LOL!
Not feeling sheepish today...

[wyntrout]

[b4uqzme]

^^^ best one yet Wynn!!!!

[wyntrout]

For you bike riders:

https://www.facebook.com/21239601249...5697798831790/

[DavidWJ]

Many of us don't do facebook. Can you post the jokes?

[wyntrout]

A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.
After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street
.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...
"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley ...YOU RIDE IT!!

[CJB]

Truer words never spoken.

[downtownv]

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband...




For example...

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.



As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. "Hi, sweetheart," he says. "Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

[yqtszhj]

The U.S. Navy is going to build a ship with Obama's name on it.

Also known as "The Good Ship Lollipop "

[wyntrout]

[DavidWJ]

Diamonds in the ROUGH... ;-)

[GROTMAN]

One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day,

Until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, Then he made love to her all day, and made love to her all night, and he made love to her all the next day, ... made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!










Why ???










OH, come on... Take a guess !!!










Think about it !!!

















Everyone knows..




You can't kill Two Birds With OneStone !!!

[340pd]

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60+year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?

'What's that? I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night.'

We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'

[Armybrat]

Hey sonny, I'm waiting for the punchline....